Super Inspired Writer

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Tuesday, May 2

Rosy Cheeks

When I was in high school….and I don’t mean to brag,  I had the best complexion ever. No amount of chlorine from working at the pool, or caked on face make-up from theater even led to a minor blemish. I never got the dreaded puberty pimples, and I tanned like nobody’s business. My hair also was super stick straight and jet black…though in those days I had bangs and got a bleach highlight that was all the rage in the 90’s.  I could wash at night and go to bed once it was towel dried and wake up the next morning with smooth and silky straight hair. So, for the first half of my life…. I never had to worry about bed head, or white heads, and it was glorious.
After two pregnancies in my twenties, something crazy happened. I got acne and curly hair. I am not shitting you, this is the absolute truth.
After ten years of just hoping it would “go away on its own” and tons of money on facials, skin care products, face masks, hair masks, hair oil, etc. etc. I finally sucked it up and went to the Dermatologist. We met Dr. Derm when my son got ringworm from wearing a helmet during a jousting game at the summer fair. While we were there, I said enough is enough, I am making my appointment TODAY to get my face back to normal. My husband, who had seen this doc before laughed and said, “This will be good.” What the hell was he talking about?
And then Dr. Derm walked in. And right on cue….he was HOT.
Which led to a discussion later about why dermatologists and plastic surgeons have to be so good looking. There you are looking crappy as can be, and a hot ass doctor right out of the Grey’s Anatomy script comes walking in. Super unfair. Dear husband says it’s because no one would trust a ratchety looking doctor for a cosmetic fix. I guess he has a point. Still embarrassing asking a handsome man to get rid of my middle aged acne!
But I went, and at my own appointment, Dr. Derm took one look at my rosy red cheeks and said it was hormone acne. Great, just great, 39-years-old and NOW my face decides to act like a teen who ate too much chocolate.  He put me on a low dose medication (with a strict reminder that it could cause birth defects if I get pregnant….whew, no concerns there) and also a cream that was like 800 dollars until the insurance finally took the claim.
If it’s not one thing it’s another. WTF
Tonight was my follow up appointment and I see a definite improvement in the bumps hidden under my Cover Girl. But these things take time and I just have to wait it out. In the meantime…my body is just so out of whack in so many ways it’s exhausting. In addition to the acne, exhaustion, and “other female issues” …WebMD says I’m starting menopause.  Outstanding, said no 39-year old ever.
Not that I have any plans to use my cycle to its intended use….but it’s the principal of the matter. How many more strikes against getting to my goal weight can I handle? Being a dried up old whoremonal hag does NOT fit in my plans right now!!
But I’m not the first or last woman to go through any of this. I’m not the only one with the life and symptoms of a completely overwhelming life. I’m just writing about it.

So thanks for listening...I feel better already.

Sunday, April 23

What's in your Toolbox?

Regain and Spring Cleaning.
What do they have in common? Well, hear me out, because Mrs. Wilson is going to tell you using a metaphor.
You decide you want a cleaner house. In fact, you want the cleanest house on the block. So…at one point you did a hands-and-knees deep clean that was so meticulous you could practically eat off of the floor. Every room was tended too and your house never looked better and never felt more comfortable and like the home you always wanted. You reached your clean house GOAL.
But…then you got busy…and well you STILL cleaned but just not as much. You started to spot clean to make it through, things weren’t always how you wanted them but they were GOOD ENOUGH FOR NOW. Little by little though the clutter and dust started to become overwhelming.
And then, one day you woke up and looked around and things were back to where you started, chaos, and you suddenly felt gross in your own house. The place where you are supposed to live and rest and nourish yourself is NOT WHAT YOU WANT anymore. You are embarrassed for people to see it even. You are not proud of it. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?? And furthermore, what TOOLS do you need to get your house and LIFE back where you were comfortable??
Sound familiar?
Maybe your house has never been chaos and messy, or maybe it is and that’s how you like it. Maybe it’s YOU and YOUR BODY that this has happened to.
Because nobody here is perfect.
Aha moment, right here.
Almost every time I check up on my online Lap-Band support groups, someone is posting how they have had weight regain and just can’t get back in control. Then comes the uncanny advice of just tighten up more so you can’t eat (counter-productive) or have a different surgery (even before other interventions were considered and even with the statistic that all of the surgery have regain risks.) Is that really what we are going to tell ourselves? Instead of looking through the toolbox to see what we need to get our house back to working condition, to just say eff-it and move somewhere else?
Tools exist for a reason. Tools for construction, tools for education, tools for cars, tools for make-up and hair….the list GOES ON.
Tools for weight loss, now there is a billion dollar industry. If all you have to do is diet and exercise why do we need tools and discipline at all? If all we have to do is clean the house every day, why do we need tools and discipline at all?

I’ll say it again….because nobody here is perfect. Because we are human. Because of Murphy’s Law.
I am 15 lbs away from kicking my regain to the curb and it is happening this year damnit. So I’m going to use my tools and git ‘er done.
I have Lola my Lap-band, my Apple watch, MyFitnessPal App, Support Groups, my blog, prepping healthy meals, my probiotics and vitamins, food blender, good pair of jogging shoes, earbuds and iTunes, and some AWESOME FRIENDS to keep me motivated and focused.

Is your toolbox ready?

Monday, April 17

The Real Deal Inspires

Today was a milestone kinda day. The day after Easter can’t help but be a day of rebirth. I mean, if the big J can move a boulder and rise from the dead, I can be reborn from a few bad meals over the weekend, right?

Don’t get me wrong, the flu that had me balls to the wall last week did a great job of starting my digestive track back at square one. But as soon as I ate one meal of substance with salt in it the scale needle started dancing again. I hate it. Scales I mean.

I wish I could be that person that never steps on one at all. You know, that girl you knew in high school that only knew she gained three-quarters of a pound because she had a red ring under the waistband of her jeans she’s worn for years. Or when you’d watch an after-school special and the main character knew she was pregnant from puking one time and pants being snug.

I have worn the same jeans for a few years now, but I’m not going to lie and say they don’t go from “I’m swimming in them” to “bring me a shoehorn” every couple of weeks. The days where they fit just right like Goldilocks’ chair are few and far between. Never thought it was a pregnancy, just sayin'.

At any rate, the weather is finally starting to change and that hopefully means less jeans and more skirts and sundresses. This weekend I wore a cute halter number that’s been in the back of my closet for about 7 years that I just took the tags off of on Sunday. It was one of those clearance rack items that you don’t really think you’ll wear but really can’t pass up either. Plus, my fourth grader asked me to please not wear all black this Easter, so how could I say no?

There are only 35 (THIRTY-FIVE) days of teaching left this year. That is unbelievable to me. This school year has been easier in so many ways, and yet more challenging in other ways. But I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and I’m getting there. I am really tuned into what I WANT, and what I NEED and knowing the difference is what has been driving me. The choices I make are helping my journey and mine alone, and I am focused on that. Being a good Mom, nurturing my Husband, having a strong career, reaching my body goals, it’s ALL EQUALLY IMPORTANT.

Today when I was at the dentist I was thinking about the people I know and how some of our goals are just completely different.  How what we spend money on is so different, and how skeptical I was to spend my own cash on **gasp** a nutritional supplement. Ultimately, putting my own spending in perspective, is what sold the deal to me. I’ve literally spent THOUSANDS of dollars on my outward appearance, but I was apprehensive on buying Plexus. It makes no damn sense and yet we all do it all the time.

I was also thinking while my teeth were being cleaned, about how my business BOOMED this month so unexpectedly and how I owe it all to just telling the TRUTH and being MYSELF. The me that is learning and growing, the me in all it’s imperfections, the me that doesn’t fool people with being fancy-schmancy to look popular and important, I’ve never been that girl and I’m not starting that shit now. I have a nerd -girl Superman tattoo for Christ’s sake.

And I also have my first goddamned cavity at 39-years-old. Seriously. WTF.

Tuesday, April 11

Running Start

….and sometimes you just work your tail off and do everything and your body stops you dead in your tracks and says….HELL NO.
That’s what happened to me this week. Between all the new housework, and teacher work, and nursing my middle schooler back to health from a four-day flu…..yesterday I bit the dust. After waking up on Monday morning and trying not to fall asleep at the wheel on my commute…and surviving on YouTube videos of the Ohio State Marching Band as my lessons (totally my curriculum, promise) I was fortunate enough to make it back home and CRASH into bed at 4pm.  After a roller coaster of freezing and sweating, I woke up fresh as a daisy at 10:30 this morning.
So here I am on my couch “catching up” from my home computer, watching a free OnDemand of “This is 40” and wondering……IS THIS 40??
I went into my 30’s strong but it ended up being my toughest years for sure. With so many ups and downs in many areas of my life, the teacher in me can only try and use it all as a learning experience and decide how to plan ahead for a better outcome. I’ve just never been someone to accept what I have without trying to make it bigger and better. And I don't compare my journey with others. 
So as month 1 of being 39 is already over (damn) I’m off to a running start. Aside from my short bout of sickness yesterday, I am still feeling better than ever since I started drinking my Plexus Slim instead of a gallon of coffee and diet coke during the day just to stay alive during my busy schedule. And y’all know I’m not supposed to drink any pop anymore because of my WLS but some days I felt like I had no choice, which is both sad and scary.

My Lap-Band Lola was the most significant life-changing event to me and has helped me to stay in check for sure…but I wonder if I could just tighten my belt a little bit more and follow the rules a little more meticulously, if I can really get THERE.
But then there is the fact that I don’t exercise anymore. There I said it and you heard me =(
I HAVE to…and I mean HAVE to start jogging again. I notice that my thigh flab is frowning since I stopped about a year ago. And I feel like I have enough back fat not to need a tempurpeutic mattress.
So adding onto my SUPER SPRING GOALS…
1.       Get back to my Lap-Band basics
2.       Walk/Jog again 3+ times a week
3.       Take my Plexus Slim and supplements everyday

Thankfully the Slim gives crazy energy and curbs my appetite so I’m not looking for the secret M&Ms in my desk!! Who doesn’t need a little boost to reach their goals??
I'll keep you posted!!

Monday, April 3

Super Spring Goals

I have a horribly bad habit and that’s to completely over-schedule my life to the point where I am functioning solely by Google Calendar. It’s not about not being able to say “no”’s about my own interest in making my life a living hell. I think for the type A, over-achiever, first born children such as myself, we just have this crazy drive to do everything at once. Because of this we often become Jacks and Jills of all trades, but masters of none. I launched this new and improved blog on my birthday 3/13 and was so excited to start sharing my story again….my NEW story of the me today, four long and rocky years past weight-loss surgery. That was now three weeks ago.
NEW home, SAME us.

But let’s see….since then I closed on my new house, moved into and set up said house, directed my first four spring performances, took an online class, got my kids to all of their activities, fed and laundered four people, and...oh...took a leap of faith to improve my health based on a friend’s testimony of a miracle supplement.  Easy-peasy, right?

Needless to say I have been racing against the clock trying to make everything happen, so alas my blog was simmering on the back burner and never made it to get checked off. But here I am.


Yes, this is a Superman Tervis GOBLET
I can say with absolute certainty that without my pink drink I would have face planted on my new wood floors by now. I am down to about a mug or two of coffee a day instead of a gallon. In fact, I’d go as far as to say I now drink coffee for the (gasp) warmth and flavor and not just to get me walking forward without bumping into walls. My pink drink is what keeps me alert and energized and staying away from drowning in a sea of Hershey Kiss wrappers. And let’s not even go there with how much Splenda was in that coffee….

And my stomach has NEVER felt better. It’s amazing what you can accomplish without feeling sick every day. I used to be someone that just tried to ignore the signs that my belly was telling me to crawl into a hole and die….because I wasn’t "really" sick like someone with the swine flu. But now I’m looking back thinking about all those times where events got ruined for me, where I sat in a staff meeting praying the cramps would stop, or stashed Pepto in my purse, or I had to do the walk of shame at the checkout buying glycerin suppositories.

I’m not a doctor. I don’t play one on TV. Come to think of it, even with my countless drama productions I've never even played one on stage. I’m a music teacher. That's where I'm educated.This being said I have no business diagnosing ANYONE, or prescribing ANYTHING. What I do know is I used to feel like shit on a daily basis and now I don’t, and that's worth a damn to share on a billboard in my opinion.

To welcome the month of April, here are my SUPER SPRING GOALS:
  1. BLOG TWICE a week….mid week, and a weekend day.
  2. Motivate MYSELF by motivating YOU on social media with one positive/informational post a day.
  3. And, of course.....BE SUPER

Monday, March 13

Living Super

Welcome to my new blog!! Just like me, the same really but with a bit of a nip and tuck and new focus and direction.

Today I am 39-years-old!! I am actually pretty excited about this which is rare for me...typically I pretend that I’m going to be 29 again. I even made a fake “birthday potion” at school to fool my students. But this year? Nah...I’m actually excited to say I’m 39 and the reason is because I decided this will be the BEST year of my 30s.

My Birthday kicked off with meeting the love of my life, Dean Cain the actor. This is no joke. When I was still dating I made it clear that Dean was a part of my life and anyone that was jelous was going to have to accept it or move on along.  Luckily, my husband gets it and gets me and so he was up for the challenge. As the event approached, I literally couldn’t believe that the day was coming that I was going to meet my teenage dream...but there was only one problem. I felt like shit.

I have been very open with the things that have plagued me for almost a decade. Excessive weight gain and loss, depression and anxiety, acne, migraines, and since I went back to work full time absolutely ZERO energy combined with restless nights. Oh, and let’s not forget that I had major digestive problems and a stomach ache of some sort and magnitude every day. EVERY. DAY. I knew that weight-loss surgery totally jacked your digestive system but I guess I didn’t realize I would live every day with a gas cramp, constipation cramp, diarrhea cramp, puffy bloating, rock-hard stomach bloating, etc. etc. I know we are all adults but I really don’t need to tell you all the details aside from things were definitely not regular.

Having “Superman” on my calendar made me realize that if I felt like shit I was going to most likely look like shit, or at least think I looked like shit. I COULD NOT meet Dean Cain with the uncertainty of which stomach ache I was going to get that day. It was like a Russian roulette. To make matters worse, my weight had been at a plateau since before the new year and no matter what I did the scale would not budge. I COULD NOT meet Dean Cain with a bloated belly that looked like I just chugged a six-pack.

And then I found it.

A friend of mine that I had worked with at my first teaching job 15 years ago had been posting on facebook every day about this “pink drink” that was supposed to be a natural and healthy solution to all the problems I had been having. Plexus, as it was called, claimed to actually work on the problem at it’s root, poor gut health, instead of just covering it up with meds. Between the low energy, the weight stall, the acne, and most importantly the stomach problems...I was tired and done.  I’d been following her story almost a year at an arm’s length because well, to be honest, I didn’t want to spend the money. I mean, If I knew for CERTAIN it would work of course I would front the cash...but if it was a gimmick then that was money better spent on more wacky leggings I didn’t need in my closet. And I guess that’s what really made me realize I had some serious issues if I could drop a hundo on leggings without batting an eyelash but wouldn’t spend money on something that could make me feel better. Something I NEEDED at this point.

So I did it, I took the plunge and spent money on my own health, and ordered the Plexus Tri-Plex Combo. (Plexus Slim, BioCleanse, and ProBio5)


After a mere day or two I felt different. I was energetic and didn’t feel like I was hit by a truck when I woke up. I didn’t crave carbs and sugar like normal either and that was weird. I lost 5 lbs in the first week. But by far the best part is...drumroll please….I NO LONGER HAVE A STOMACH ACHE!! I loved it so much there was no way I was discontinuing and then knew I would be a damn fool to just keep being a customer every month instead of buying into a piece of the magic. This was something I had to SHARE with every person that has been on this weight-loss journey with me.

You know damn well I do not bullshit anyone.

If you want to lose weight you best be making sure you are consuming less calories either by less food or more exercise. Period.


Plexus gives you:
More energy,
Less sugar cravings due to level blood-sugar,
Happy bathroom visits,
And no digestion issues,

...which will push that weight-loss into high gear and help break your plateau. It will help you up over the hill you are trying to climb.

When I went to see Superman, I felt AMAZING, and by felt amazing I mean literally from the inside out. Waking up feeling good for a few weeks now has made a huge difference. I’m still working on my weight. I’m still working on my self-esteem. I’m still working on my anxiety issues...but my stomach aches are gone and for that reason I can shout this from the rooftops.

Welcome to my new blog….from the new me, the me that starts TODAY.

The 39-year-old me.

Sunday, September 18

Control Yourself

Like Janet Jackson, I want to be the one in control.
Sometimes it really does take a good kick in the shin for you to get your shit together. For me it was losing the buyer on our house that has been for sale since the first of the year. I was just sitting down to write a blog post and tell everyone what I was up to….how I was about to start a “Pouch Test Diet” (more on that later), when my husband came home to say the deal fell through. We were supposed to have moved next week 9/23 and now are not. The End. Because of the decisions of someone ELSE, my plan to move to a bigger house and get the kids situated this fall was not happening. I was devastated, I cried, I screamed.  This was not the first time and won’t be the last time that I was reminded there are some things we just CANNOT CONTROL under any circumstances, they are left to good or bad luck, God’s plan, karma, or for no reason at all…however you chose to look at it. No matter what we do or don’t, how hard we pray, what other ju-ju we try…..somethings are just what they are, and that’s a hard lesson to learn.
I have always been able to research, study, practice, reach out, contact people, and use my skill set to get outcomes that I want. Shows I wanted to be in, jobs I’ve had, schooling and degrees I wanted, summer reading agenda, running a 5K, reaching my weight loss goals, etc etc. Once again I realized that this time nothing I did was going to help and I started falling into a depression. Everything just felt shitty.

People will then continuously remind you how THIS is not a REAL “PROBLEM”. Well, no kidding.

Doesn’t make it feel any better. Still don’t feel like skipping around just happy to be alive. We are wired to feel the good the bad and the ugly and I am someone who feels super deeply about everything. It’s who I am. My husband gets it, he knows when to tell me to calm the fuck down, and when to let me take an hour long shower because I am sobbing in there privately. Others are trying to help by reminding you that your life is blessed and this is just another blemish on your face. I know that advice is coming from a good place…but there are only so many times you can be told something bigger and better is on its way before you want to throat punch somebody.
I really had zero choice here but to put on my big girl panties and move on.

Cauliflower Fried "Rice"
But there was the other elephant in the room that was adding to my feelings of being inept. The elephant that was getting bigger and bigger (literally) while everything else was getting tended to. I had promised myself that this school year I was going to lose the 30 lbs I gained last school year. This is something that is 100% in my control. One of the only things any of us can control in fact because only we can decide what and how much we eat and how much to exercise. I started on the first day of school with a “5 Day Pouch Test Diet” that I got on my online "LapBand Divas" support group. Basically you are retraining your pouch (the new stomach that is made from the band or the sleeve surgeries) to do what it’s supposed to do. Days one and two are liquid only, day three is mashed food, day four is finely chopped food, and day five is back to regular diet.  You know, that diet I have only "kinda" been following.

Cauliflower Pizza Crust
I put my extra energy  every day into my body instead of my house worries. I started looking up recipes again instead of statistics on Zillow. I started cooking and planning meals again. I went back to the basics of good, healthy eating and tried some new cauliflower concoctions I found on Pinterst.  I started reaching out to support group members again. I went to Zumba again and started walking again. After all my momwork, housework, and schoolwork was finished it was my bodywork time. Me time.

Month 1 and I have lost my first 10 lbs!!!! I am working hard at it, I am not cheating, I am eating clean and little by little I am doing it.  Because I am all I got for this outcome, it’s all on me and no one else.

I am in control.