Super Inspired Writer

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Tuesday, October 30

Keeping Score

This weekend I celebrated many things.  As I go through each celebration they are becoming known as, “the last __________ before I’m banded.”

Friday night was the last Husband’s Birthday party before I’m banded.  It would be the last time I sat at the table for a whole hour eating a first pasta course that really is more than enough food for a human to eat in one sitting, and then going on to eat a second course of meat and potatoes that really has no business in my overstuffed stomach. It also would be the last time that I will have to hide behind my family in the obligatory birthday cake photo, sticking my neck out so that I don’t have a turkey gobble, and hiding my true size behind everyone else.  I have become such an expert at doing this that a friend of mine who hadn’t seen me in person in a long time confessed that she didn’t know I had gained my weight back because my pictures are so deceiving.  Um…thank you? I feel so goddamned proud.

Saturday was the last college Homecoming before I’m banded. It would be the last time I graze all day on popcorn and hotdogs, drinking glass after glass of alcoholic drinks. It would also be the last time I would have to wear a MAN’s XL size t-shirt and jacket instead of the cute ladies spirit wear they sell at the field.  Most importantly, it will be the last time I am embarrassed that I have let myself go when my husband is every bit as dreamy as he was ten years ago at graduation. (FYI, he get’s pissed when I tell him this like a true gentleman would.)

Sunday we took the kids to the last pumpkin farm trip before I’m banded.  It would be the last time I indulged in the traditional corndog, curly fries, and big sugary fried elephant ear.  It would also be the last time that I would have to sit by the sidelines while my family went up the big curvy slide because my fat ass gets  tired of walking up the hundred stairs to the top (and let’s be real, those fucking stairs are so narrow the sides of my ass are rubbing along the rails while I climb up) and then has to maneuver itself to be able to sit at the top and slide down on a burlap sack with a child in my lap.

Long story short….what I am realizing (and reaffirming) as I continue to have these last moments before I’m banded,  is really the only things I am giving up are the amount of food I will be able to have, and sometimes the type of food.  What I will be gaining is priceless in experiences, confidence, laughter, companionship, and being able to be truly PRESENT for my family. Anyone can keep score here and see where I’m going with this.

So to end the first of many weekends here in the next two months of “lasts” ….I had my last head shrinker appointment before I’m banded and I passed!! I am not crazy and I am cleared for surgery and I paid my $50 for the letter saying so!! WHOO HOO!

My reward was my sweatshirt from a previous post =) Hubs said to hang it in the closet like the girl in the Yoplait commercial who is trying to fit into a bikini.

It’s the little things.

1 comment:

  1. I went through all those lasts and this year I've realised that I do still partake in some of these things but to a tiny degree of what I used to. A few chips/fries. A kids meal instead. Keep focusing on the things you hate that you'll never have to do again - like sticking your neck out in pictures. Make a list. It'll make it easier to follow your NSV's