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Wednesday, November 14

Hang on while I hook up my CRAP machine...

Oh, I'm sorry, I meant my CPAP machine...

If you read my last post you already know that the Sleep Study I underwent a week ago sucked. I knew things had to be pretty bad since they didn’t even let me finish sleeping through the night before they strapped a mask on my face. I didn’t imagine however exactly how bad things really were…

It turns out as per my results that during my first two and a half hours there sleeping, (before the gatekeeper came in with her lantern) I stopped breathing an average of 69 times in an hour.

In case you didn’t read that right……69 TIMES IN AN HOUR!!

Hearing this news left me speechless, bewildered, and downright horrified.  It is absolutely unimaginable to me that a person can stop breathing at least once every minute during an hour and have no recollection of anything. In a crazy way, it’s almost as if you have been living a lie, your slumbers hiding a dirty little secret from you.  I want to just scream into my pillow about this whole shitty thing.

The tech that called me explained that in a few days someone from whoever comes to set up your equipment would call me and come to my house with my CPAP machine and show me how to use it. It will come with a memory card and when I have my follow up appointment after the New Year the Pulmonary specialist will evaluate my results (which means see if I do in fact use it) and he will clear me for surgery.  I started talking to my kids about it so they don’t wander into my bedroom in the middle of the night and get a terrifying surprise. My five-year-old asked if it was the blue cream mask I put on my face to help my pimples. My seven-year-old explained to her that it would be the plastic mask that he once saw watching the NFL when a player got a bloody nose.  Either way my vanity is getting the best of me and it is KILLING me that I have to do this, good for me or not, getting to my goal or not. I hate it, I’m not gonna lie.

Moving along, today I also saw the bariatric exercise specialist. Once again, people are starving from unemployment and someone else entirely actually gets PAID to tell you that you need to exercise in addition to just dieting to lose weight properly.  I am wondering if a single soul has ever sat in that uncomfortable chair opposite this person and said, “Really? Tell me all about that?”  I assured her that I know what to do…it’s actually DOING it that is my problem. It’s not about finding time either. It’s about choosing to dedicate time for myself and then choosing to use that time toward fitness. The nice thing is that this woman was not cut from the same cloth as Jillian Michaels from the Biggest Loser. All she prescribed was walking for 20+ minutes a few times a week, and investing in some light hand weights to use while watching TV which I can probably muster. She then had me stand on a scale with handlebars and took a fat analysis of my body.  Yep, I’m fat, thanks for playing.

Based on the current timeline, there is no way my surgery will happen in January like I had hoped, but now I am praying for late February or early March. Looks like when they say this process takes up to a year, they aren’t kidding.

Still going. Going with a mask on but going just the same…


  1. my husband has one of the full mask CPAP, I dont know how you can sleep with it on but I know that he has said that he has never felt better and more rested,, he never had dreams before because he never was able to get that deep into sleep so now he is like whoa dreams!!! weird huh..... I hope you have the humidifier on your cpap cuz without it you are gonna have a very very dry throat.. oh and a little tip about cleaning the gasket-y part of it daily is use dish soap like palmolive and hot hot water it works awesome at getting the oils from your skin off so that you have a nice fit the next night... good luck with that damn thing, just wanted to tell ya there are some positives, ya know other than the actually breathing all night night thing lol hope you can get outta that thing this year after some more weightloss

  2. Thanks for the tips! I know it will improbe my sleep, my metabolism, my this, my that....but it's a mental thing why I am fighting against this. I will do it though....only way for me to get the band (free) is to go through my HMO and do whatever they want!!