Today I have been banded for three weeks. It’s kinda crazy to just go about your day, thinking on and off that there is an appliance in your body. I can’t feel it of course, but if I press on my large scar I can feel the port and it reminds me that it really is in there. Because I am still not eating whole foods, I don’t have textbook restriction, but something does tell me I am done eating and that is a very weird feeling to have. It’s kind of like the feeling that you have to burp, but you don’t, it’s just an indicator that you are done with your meal. My stomach isn’t really full, which used to be the old way I knew (or believed) I was done eating, but I am also not hungry. Not hungry is what we are supposed to aim for when we eat, not the full feeling many of us use as our hard stop. This is a huge TRANSITION of thinking for an overeater. I mean, you spend your whole life thinking that you can keep gettin’ it in until you can’t walk, plus a few extra bites if your pants are unbuttoned, and then just like that you chose to install a saline donut in your body and a hiccup is your indicator that you have eaten plenty. It’s practically sci-fi.
I am still on puree diet for three more weeks, and week one went better than expected actually. I invested in canned chicken and tuna, canned vegetables (because they are already cooked and soft), Greek yogurt, Egg beaters, light mayo and sour cream, and cottage cheese. You know, all the foods I ate when I was on Weight Watchers. The kicker is I was always STARVING on Weight Watchers and now, I am NOT HUNGRY when I am done eating my cup of mashed madness. Again, let me be clear that I am also not full, just no longer hungry….I’m pretty sure they call that satisfied which has never been in my vocabulary until now. Having joined Weight Watchers every New Years Day for 20 years, hunger was always my biggest beef with the program, and was torture. I am in no way discrediting the program, I still think it is the healthiest and most effective commercial weight loss plan available but clearly it wasn’t cutting it for me. We all know the definition of insanity is doing the same behavior over and over again and expecting different results, so I’m glad I had the balls to kick that points addiction to the curb.
My purees have ranged from tuna and mushrooms, chicken and refried beans, egg beaters and spinach, to my favorite so far, a puree of a WHOLE meatball and a slice of grilled eggplant. Sure, the food looks pretty nasty once my Magic Bullet has gotten to it, but it’s still MUCH better than a chicken soup flavored protein shake. I’m still only ranging about 500-800 calories a day which is pretty damn criminal when you look at it on MyFitnessPal, but it’s not terrible. Just as with my month on shakes, it’s DOABLE. That’s all any of us can hope for.
In other news, I had to run to Wal-Mart and buy some TRANSITION pants. I am between sizes, where my work pants are baggy as hell, but my next size down is still giving me a muffin top which isn’t good for anybody. Luckily, I was able to score four pairs of pants for about 60 bucks, all of which will do the trick until it’s time to buy capris which incidentally I should be wearing TODAY on my first day of Spring Break but Chicago like many other areas of the US is schizophrenic and it’s goddamned freezing. The silver lining on this frigid-ass cloud hopefully is that the delayed warm weather will just give me that much more time to slim down for the spring styles I’m looking forward to.
Tonight is my support group meeting at the Hospital with my nutritionist. It will be weird but exciting to be on the other side of the table now, not just there because it’s required to get the procedure, but to be someone who can answer questions for the newbies. I am a teacher after all, I hope that I can become a Post-Op liaison (without annoying the shit out of the group leader) to not only keep myself motivated but also to encourage and help others.
Happy Spring Break everyone….LET’S TRANSITION TO SPRING ALREADY!!!!