Super Inspired Writer

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Monday, May 6

On Course

Okay, okay, it’s been a while. But I’m still here, and I’m still moving along. I may not have written in two weeks, but that’s because I haven’t really been thinking or acting, I have just been being, going through motions like a robot, pick up from A drop off at B.  And that’s okay too sometimes. It’s a busy time of year at school with the countdown reading 20 days left. Kids are full swing in their extra-curriculars and my son is about to accept the body of Christ next weekend, which is a big ass deal for an Italian immigrant family. Instead of blogging I have been iPading, searching for good recipes, looking up caloric amounts, and humoring myself with three hours of bowling burning over 900 calories. And through all that Mother Nature seems to be off her meds, but the good news is that I have been able to get a walk in around three times a week. And hear me, me and my kids did YOGA on the iPad. Yep, I knew that thing would be a goddamned goldmine.

And as the train keeps chugging, just as I had all my “lasts” before my band, I am now experiencing all my “firsts” since my band. This weekend was the big family wedding I blogged about last fall. I had a lot of anxiety up until this point because I didn’t know what to expect, and I am a planner. I am a carve it in stone and look at it from every angle kind of girl. When I found out that me and my daughter would be in this wedding the unknown of who I would be when the big day came was an inconvenient mystery. I ordered my bridesmaid dress in my before size, thinking that it would be much easier to take it in than for it to be too small. I was right. And get taken in it did.

Let me be clear, the wedding wasn’t about me. It was about my beautiful cousin and her new husband. I have already been the bride, the center of attention, the lady in white, and when it was my day I was radiant. This time I was the bridesmaid, under a different kind of scrutiny, not wanting to be the fattest one in the lineup in my satin gown. I was also incidentally the oldest one and who wants to be the matronly-let-herself-go one? So what did I do but stay on course, did what I was supposed to do, ate how much I was supposed to eat, and low and behold…… worked. (crazy idea, right?) And I felt healthy and alive, despite still having so many more pounds to loose.

As I write this I have only seen the 39 lbs lost mark for two weeks, which technically was only 37 for a week because of all the alcohol and experience I consumed.  But I know that tomorrow will be EPIC. I know this because I am a scale whore and I weigh myself at minimum two times a day. Because of this routine I have calculated the approximate 2.7 pounds that I lose while sleeping each night. Therefore, according to these specific calculations, tomorrow (unless I sleepwalk myself to the fridge and eat a jar of mayonnaise, which by the way I do not take Ambien so I am feeling pretty damn confident about this) I will be able to enter a new weight into MyFitnessPal and it will say 40. What? What?…..40!! That’s more than my Kindergartener weighs!

And after I weigh-in tomorrow, I will enter the numbers online, I will count calories and make sure I have measurable amounts of food that work with my band, I will stand tall, and walk, and give hugs, and breath, and one more day will be.


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