Recently, with the onset of the good weather (not counting this weekend because it’s goddamned cold and it’s Memorial Day Weekend) I have really gotten back on my walking track. It has always been my favorite exercise and is how I have been able to lose weight in the past, but unfortunately, as life gets in the way, I start to skip my walks and it’s so frickin hard to get back into it. Because I am significantly lighter now, and breathing so much better, and feeling more comfortable in my cute hoodies, I really look forward to my walks each day. Even this morning, a cold and crisp 50 degrees, I couldn’t wait to hit the pavement with my pink ear buds blazing from my iPod.
The best part about my walk I have come to find out is not the calorie exchange I get to input into myfitnesspal.com, but rather it’s the therapeutic THINKING I get to do. When I’m walking I am thinking about all kinds of shit, from my best memories, to my most haunting ones, from the wonderful things I look forward to in the future, to the things that scare me the most. And with each thought I am processing, and growing, and learning about what sets me off and what inspires me. I am putting things to rest and opening possibilities.
This particular morning, besides the chill in the air and the gloomy overshadows, while good ‘ol Brittany Spears kept my pace, I was thinking about falling in love. A very close friend of mine at work just recently fell in love after a period of some major drama, and as the stories begin to unfold from the new relationship, hearing about their first kiss, the long endless nights of talking until the wee hours of the morning, I am reminded of my own great love and how much of me wishes I could go back in time just once more to relive it all again. Don’t get me wrong, after 15 years with my baby my love story is still a best-selling novel, but there is something about remembering that FIRST kiss, and the FIRST moment that you realize you love someone that still takes my breath away. Simply put, when the psych that I had to see to get the band asked me about my relationship with my spouse my answer came out as easy as spreading butter on warm bread…. “my marriage is the best part of my life.”
I remember the exact moment I knew I loved Brad. It was a few short months after we started dating and although he claims triumphantly he already knew I was the one, I was blissful but unsure. As two young college sweethearts, 19 and 20, our dorm buildings were next to each other with a long corridor connecting the two. He shared a room with a very cute swimmer, and I shared a room with a crazy Ginger who always knew how to make me laugh at any given time. Early one morning, the fire drill went off in my building and sluggishly we all made the trek downstairs and out to the parking circle. Problem was as we came to find out it was raining outside (which coincidentally always seems to happen during early morning fire alarms). When I got outside, what I saw made my heart stop beating in my chest, it was new boyfriend Brad out there with a huge golf umbrella! He had heard the alarm from his window across the circle and hurried outside to shield me from the rain. All I could muster was a weak, “what are you doing here?!?” but that my friends was the EXACT moment that I knew I loved this man. That was the PRECISE moment in time that I knew he would always be there for me, and from that very day I grabbed hold and will continue to hold on for dear life.
The moral of my story (I’m pretending to have one) is that love is wonderful, and [some] memories are wonderful, and that it will always rain so remember to bring an umbrella, and that walking is the best FREE therapy that exists.