I did it.
I bought a pair of high heels. Nude patent leather high heels like on TV. And they fit. And I can walk. Sorta.
When I got home I tried on the dress I bought them for and they looked perfect and I felt very sexy sophisticated. Especially when I was just standing there and not walking. But I did it, I walked into the Shoe Carnival and said I am 35-years-old and lost damn near 60 pounds and I can step back into heels!!
I decided to inventory my dress shoes since I had just recently found a treasure of clothes under my bed. If I could find and buy a new pair of shoes today, maybe just maybe there were some goodies in my shoe closet that I could reintroduce myself with. It was just like a shoe reunion.
Black heels, brown heels, leather heels, boots with heels, platform heels, strappy heels, and pump heels. I not only wondered where and when I could possibly wear these shoes, but also, where and when DID I wear these shoes? I’ve been avoiding the painful height requirement for so long that I had forgotten that I stepped out what felt like a lifetime ago in those shoes. Because that’s what extra weight does to you, it wraps you up like a thick blanket making you feel like you are worth nothing but fuzzy slippers. That you are not sexy sophisticated but that if you are comfortable that is good enough for you. But it’s no longer good enough for me. My inner goddess, well actually my lap-band “Lola”, is a badass and she wears heels and kills the hearts of rich men in them too. Lola is deep inside still under layers of life and lesson, but I am learning from her.
Don’t get me wrong, I still plan on wearing flats, flops, and gym shoes as I go about my daily life. You won’t see me hopping like a frickin’ frog in my music classroom in a pair of Bandolino’s. But I know they are there, and I miss them, and I hope to take them out on a few dates soon.