Super Inspired Writer

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Monday, October 28

Strength in Numbers

I already blogged today, I know, but I guess I just have a lot to say...imagine that.

Tonight was support group and it was awesome. There were over 20 people there tonight but only about 5 of us had bands already. The rest of the people were there as part of their pre-op requirement. One guy had four family members there for support. All in all, there were a variety of different experiences around the table and it’s great to be able to learn from each other, as well as help calm the new people.

I just feel so great coming home from my meetings. The people there are my people, you know? We are all there for the same reason, because we have had a life-long history of weight problems, because we love food, because we (are trying to) love ourselves more. Together we just get it.

One lady admitted that she had had a few procedures in the past but was trying again with the Band. Another lady was going to have to endure her pre-op liquid diet while on a birthday cruise (holy buffets Batman!) and then there was the South Side Irish gentleman with all the questions. A guy who had already been denied and discouraged from two hospitals before coming to us, where he said he already felt welcome.

What do I bring to the table? I bring nametags so that we can remember each other. I bring hand-outs of things I find online or I make myself. I bring business cards with my blog information on it. I bring a sign-up sheet for my Facebook group that I am admin for.  I bring stories. I bring advice. I bring unconditional support to people like me who have run face first into a brick wall. I bring myself, bare and vulnerable.

I just wrote a post this afternoon about wanting to fit in. At group I don’t have to explain what the band is or why on earth I would consider getting one.  Everyone gets it. Everyone is the same.

Maybe I’m so into it because I am a teacher? Whatever the reason I know damn well I couldn’t have made it even this far without staying immersed in my new community.  I understand how AA works. I get it AA people. You can give something up but you can’t take it out of who you are.

My husband has an old football t-shirt from high school with a quote on the back that says “The strength of the wolf is in the pack, but the strength of the pack is in the wolf.” 


=)

If the GOGO Boots fit...

This weekend was crazy. And awesome. And tiring. And inspiring.

Me and my own Groom
Friday my first baby cousin got married. She asked me, my husband, and the two kids to be in the wedding, which was a huge honor. I mean, let’s face it I’m getting to the age where I fully expect my two super-cute kids to be asked…but me? I’ve become the old bridesmatron of the group, the old broad, the token mother figure. But she asked me anyways and of course I was more than happy to oblige.

The wedding was a blast, and I suppose it’s true that with age comes wisdom. I was asked to fix the brides veil when it went askew. I was called into the brides room to bustle the gown when the other girls couldn’t find the fastens. I was smart enough to wear flats when the youngins were strutting in stilettos (who sees them anyways in a long dress??) I was needed, and needless to say felt amazing all dressed up and dancing the night away with my family.

Captain and Coke
Despite getting home at 2, we pulled ourselves out of bed to attend our college’s Homecoming football game. The weather was gorgeous, and the team killed it with 55-0 at the half (at which point we left to get beer at the local Irish Pub). It was a beautiful day with beautiful friends. As music alum we sit with the band, and it was crazy to think that it was our 15 year homecoming….15 years since my man and I first met on that campus during the fall. The leaves were falling and we were falling in love. (Kinda, that’s a story for another day.)


After dropping the kids off, we did something we have always talked about but never actually DID. We put on Halloween costumes and went to a bar like the twentysomethings. For real. Last year, fat and miserable, we sat on the sidelines like yesterday's laundry but
Walking On
this year I was bound to change things. I came up with an epic couple’s costume, and made it happen. My husband and I went as “Captain Morgan and Coke”. I was the coke, of course, complete with white tu-tu and GOGO boots. If you haven’t been out on Halloween in a long time you will note that this is the standard dress code these days. No matter what you are thinking of dressing up as, add a tu-tu and hoochie
boots and you will fit right in. I’m not joking.


Because sometimes you just want to do that. Fit right in. I don’t want to be the old one. The uncomfortable one. The fat one. The one without a tu-tu. I just want to be the happy fits-in one. And this weekend I did just that.

Thursday, October 17

Soccer MOM

I played soccer.

I PLAYED SOCCER!!

Last night, the coaches for my son’s soccer team (my husband is one of them) organized a surprise Parent versus Kid soccer scrimmage at practice last night. This isn’t the first time this has happened, but it is the first time I was brave enough to attend let alone play.

Not gonna lie, I almost backed out. I am a real pussy when it comes to cold and rain and gloomy ass looking clouds above my head and that’s just what it was. I texted the head coach about 7 hours before the game to see if it should be rescheduled and was shot down. I asked my son on a scale of 1-10 how important it was that mom show up to this event and he said a 5.  No help there.

This could ether go two ways. I could either sit on the couch as God intended in my snuggie with my coffee and feel guilty for ditching my son, or I could put on my big girl panties and Under Armour hoodie and go.  Reluctantly, I chose the latter.

We got there and it was a chaotic mix of people all over the pitch. No one was really playing any positions, parents and kids were running everywhere. My son looked at me with the I-see-you two finger hand gesture and told me he’d go easy on me. I reminded him (and myself!!) of something. “Let’s do this buddy! Your mom runs now!” And that’s just what I did. I started to run, and run, and run. I kicked the ball a few times (and missed a few, damn left foot)  and sent the ball soaring with a hard knee pop. Some little shit kicked me hard in the shin and I have the battle wound to prove it. But I ran. And I wasn’t dying. In fact, I wasn’t even tired and breathing just fine.  I could have belted out the National Anthem. It felt AMAZING.

This was a pinnacle moment for me. Even more so that all the past milestones of fitting into this or that, of not being the fattest one in a picture, of wearing tall boots in public. I played soccer with my kid and ran and kept up with him and kicked his ass if I do say so myself. THIS is what it is all about. My brand new life. It brings me to tears.

I can’t say this enough times to those that are reading this. If you are in a position where you are buried alive like I was….DO SOMETHING. I don’t care what. If you need my help I am there for you. You deserve to live just as much as I did.  


Nike had a good point……….Just Do It. 

Tuesday, October 15

That's What SHE Said...

Recently, I asked my friends on my online forum (lapbandtalk.com if you are interested or in need of advice/motivation) what some of the craziest things were that people said to them about their weight loss. It was a good laugh, believe me, because honestly, I think some people don’t know what to say, but they want to say something, but then end up sticking their foot in their mouth. I personally have heard quite a few things that sometimes made me laugh, and sometimes made me cringe, even though I politely accepted the compliment (was it one?) I look totally different, there is no denying that, no way to not notice. I thought it would be fun to share with you some of those funny comments both to me and to my Lap-Band peers…
MINE:
1.    You look like you are melting!
2. Bean pole!
3. You are average-sized now!
4. If you just stay like this you will look great.
5. I can tell you feel better about yourself because you are not hiding your hair in a knot anymore.
6. Hot Mama!
7. When does the band come out?
8. You don't want to loose too much more or you will look sick.
9. Did you start working out or something?
10. I noticed you look different but I don't like to comment because my aunt lost a lot of weight and was in fact dying.
11. You should celebrate your [insert milestone weight loss] with a dinner out!


OTHER LAP-BANDERS:
1.     At the Jewish New Year dinner, a woman who was sitting next to me asked where my food was.  To me, I had to much on the plate and to her, not enough.  I said I have plenty of food, thank you.
This lovely photo accompanied comment #3.
No. Words.
2.     When I went to replace my driver's license and get a new picture taken, the woman looked at my old one and then looked at me and goes "this doesn't even look like you, it looks like your fat cousin".
3.     The craziest thing is that i am pretty now..
what was i butt ugly before?  
4.     What are you going to do after you lose all the weight , does the band come out and are you going to have another surgery?
5.     My bariatric nurse told me LOOK your shrinking!! 
6.     People tell me I look taller.
7.     MIL told me u were always such a sweet person but now you are pretty too... I was like dang guess I know what u used to think of me..lol 
8.     I had a work colleague say in a meeting, oh I heard you had lost weight you have done it before though so what's different this time ? In a roomful of people I replied "a gastric band" one very red face and a round of congratulations!
9.     I am down to the last three lbs and I'm expecting at some stage the " you have lost too much now" conversations. These are the issues of others not me. I'm too busy recovering to recover anyone else.
10.   I forgot one the other day I had bought my first two outfits never wore them before and I was wearing one and my Mother of all people said oh you are losing and have lost a lot I see your wearing your skinny pants




There you have it. Now you know what goes down on a weight-loss online community. Hope you LOL’d. If not….well…you kinda had to be there. ;)

Sunday, October 6

PINK!

It’s October, which means black and orange are not the only colors in the spotlight. PINK is everywhere to support Breast Cancer awareness and there are tons of fundraisers everywhere if you want to get involved. Although I am lucky to report that Breast Cancer has not touched my family personally, it has effected many families around me and is a cause I would love to help out. That being said, my gym (like that? MY gym) has a PINK treadmill and every mile logged on it donates 10 cents to Breast Cancer research. It doesn’t sound like much, but at 3 miles each time I go I will at least be able to donate a couple of dollars by using the PINK treadmill. I am there to run anyways, right?
I can say run now because I am at least half walking and half running now. It’s kinda crazy that when I first signed up for my 5K that will be November 3rd I figured I would walk the whole time and now I think I might be able to run for at least part of it.
#runforlife
My husband has started looking forward to going as well. Because as we know but don’t always follow through…you don’t always feel like going to the gym but when you get there you start to feel the buzz and before you know it your workout is over and you feel awesome. And then maybe just maybe you do feel like going next time. My husband is lifting weights with the other meatheads, and has been using the stationary bike. This is HUGE because even as an ex-athlete he has never done cardio! It just wasn’t a requirement for the defensive line. But we are in our 30’s now and things have changed. Our bodies and metabolisms have changed and exercises that used to work just don’t cut it anymore.
My kids are being real troopers. My daughter loves the babysitting room and my son hates it. I reminded him that sometimes you have to do things you hate to help your family and that every our he sits in there being too cool for it he is helping mom and dad. Just to ensure he understood I gave him the example of when I have to clean up puke in the middle of the night. I hate it but I do it to help our family, so he can sit his ass in the babysitting room for an hour here and there. He owes it to us as our child.
Because we aren’t quitting any time soon. Our momentum is pumping. And if I have a month of an excuse to be a 35+ year old woman with PINK written on my ass running on a PINK treadmill for Breast Cancer, I'll take it!