Super Inspired Writer

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Wednesday, November 20


It amazes me how things can change in one year’s time. That’s the best part of having a blog is not just being able to dish the dirt with friends and online stalkers alike, but that I can look back at my own entries and remember where I have been for myself. It really helps during a long hard stretch of immobility like I am having to remember that when you step back and look at the picture from a few feet away you see a totally different image. The graph looks like a strait line from here, but from there you can see the steady decline.  From there you can see the changes.

A year ago a medical technician came to my house and set up my CPAP machine. It was absolutely traumatizing to me. I cried to my husband that not only was I fat, but also now I had to suffer the indignity of sleeping with a mask strapped on my face. It felt like the end of the world but it would be a crucial stepping-stone to where I am right now at this very instant. Looking back, how silly I was to be so vain about something so trivial. I couldn’t be here now without having been there and likewise unless I force myself to remember what there looked and felt like, I can’t appreciate here.

So where am I going with all this? Well today I had my one-year check-up with said Pulmonary department. I was nervous because I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t sure if I was there to just shoot the shit with someone or if I was going back into the glass casket to breath into a tube.  Turns out they just wanted to look at my data from my memory card I had to bring, the one that is in my machine. They saw that I do use the machine every night, and that I do keep it on for at least 6 hours of sleep a night. That I have lost nearly 70 pounds, that there does seem to be much less obstruction. But here is the big news……drumroll please……

Because of my weight loss, my exercising, my overall much better crazy good health changes I have made I get to change my setting from a 9 to a 5!! A 5!! The machine was able to tell them that on average I am only stopping breathing one time per minute……a change from 69 times per minute!! I feel like a corpse coming off  of life support. I can breathe on my own again.

I am here, and I can goddamned breathe.

1 comment:

  1. Woo hoo!! I'm throwing a little party for you right here in my living room!!