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Monday, February 10

Snow Bunny

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Okay, I no longer and thinking that it’s my cheating past haunting me, but now I know it’s my body being an asshole. I had an amazing weekend, tons of exercise (made it to Zumba 4 times and shoveled a total of almost two hours), stayed under my calories…and today I am two pounds heavier than I was on Friday. And I’m pissed.

What’s worse is that I am not in control and that is killing me. I cheat and no weight loss. I behave and no weight loss. What does this all mean magic-8 ball? Let me repeat what I have said now over and over….

I AM NOT DONE YET.

I wish it mattered when everyone is telling me I have lost so much weight and look so good. I wish it mattered that people are jokingly calling me things like skinny-mini. I wish I wish I could look in that mirror and say damn girl you did it. But I am not there yet. I can’t pretend I’ll ever be there but I know I’m not there yet and this hamster wheel I am running on is goddamned bogus.

UGH. VENTING OVER.


In other news, it’s Valentines week and that makes me happy. In the middle of this crappy, frozen tundra we call Chicago, we get to warm up with our loved ones on Friday and remember the little things that make us feel good inside. I'm a sucker for all things lovey-dovey so it's something to look forward to after this inconsiderate weather.

OH, BUT THIS HAPEND.

Snow Biz
I went sledding with my family. Yes, I actually got in the truck with them and went to the snow hill all bundled up. Then even more miraculous is that I got on a sled, rode the snow, then walked back up. Repeatedly. Old me would have A. Not gone at all.....or B. Gone but stayed warm in the vehicle to watch from afar like a sane person.

WHO IS THIS NEW MOM??

F-you two pounds. My kids don't know if you are there or not, they don't know the number that haunts me, that OWNS me. They only see me sledding, with them, in actual snow. And they are happy. At least someone is.

I GUESS THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.






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