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Friday, April 18

Finding the ONE

Today is Good Friday so the school district gave us the day off. To be honest with you, I would have rather had Monday off so that I didn’t have to worry about lesson plans and bedtimes during Easter but it is what it is. By 10 am I already had baked two dozen “hard-boiled” eggs (that’s the kitsch way to prepare them now), made a beer bread with orange shandy, and baked two dozen Funfetti cupcakes for Sunday.  Having a day off is great for these reasons, in between I did four loads of laundry, vacuumed, and somehow managed to get my shit together enough to take my kids and three of their friends to the park.

But as the saying goes…you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life. The facts of life.

Being home for me means grazing. I feel like I have eaten nothing all day but really when you add it up I had ¼ cup of cottage cheese, a yogurt, some tuna, two hard-boiled eggs whose shells didn’t survive the impact of cooking. Oh yeah, a few spoons of mac and cheese, a piece (or two) of a taquito…had to taste that beer bread to make sure it was worthy…etc.  Luckily I have a healthy dinner planned but really, it’s all these stupid BLTs (bites, licks and tastes) that add up. This is where most people mess up…they think they are doing so well and not losing weight when in reality they are ingesting up to a thousand cals a day in bites. It’s a horrible reality.

But the silver lining in all of this is that my band is really speaking to me now! This last fill may have been “the one” after all because since Tuesday I have felt very different. Each time I have eaten a meal I have felt clear restriction and the past two days I have actually felt stuck and had to PB it up. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a great thing to have happen, but it’s a learning tool, kinda like getting your hand slapped. It tells me that I may be finally in my Green Zone, that magical place where you are neither too tight, nor too lose, like Goldilocks eating her porridge, this time it’s just right.

Had to have pockets. For my phone. Don't judge.
The first time I got stuck this week it was on a hand full of Doritos. I did feel a little redeemed in this since I was breaking my Lent (again.) The second time just today it was on a chewy chocolate chip cookie. Both came right back up and although it was gross, there really is no better reminder that you just can’t do that shit anymore. That it’s not worth it.

But you know what is worth it? Being able to Google “strapless little black dress with pockts” and punching in your size and having it arrive UPS and zip right up no questions asked. That’s like an Urband Legend!! Score!

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