I am still treading water, staying afloat. My head is finally above the water, I am breathing air, but the hard work of the longevity of the journey will be much harder than getting to the surface. So here we go.
I lost a pound…still averaging about two weeks to drop just one. It’s all good because I’m still moving forward and that’s what matters. What’s more than the one pound though is that losing this big ONE took me into another weight class, weight decade, or weight dimension, whatever the hell you want to call it. A place where I haven’t been since fall of 2002. As exciting as it all is, it’s fucking scary too. It’s like having déjà vu where you have been there before but you have forgotten all the familiarity of it and aren’t quite sure how to navigate. As awesome as it is to be that girl who lost all the weight, I want to just be me again. This person, this size, is just me.
I had a check-up today with my PCP and as expected it went extremely well. Having once been borderline diagnosed with high blood pressure, the prescription practically in my mouth, my blood pressure is now low and healthy. My pulse is lower too as my heart no longer has to struggle just to keep me alive. I would love to credit it all to the weight loss itself, but really it’s all the running. As my body muscles continue to strengthen so does my heart muscle. My heart may explode but it won’t be from over-exertion. My BMI is 31......has to be under 29 to not be obese anymore...it's right there within my reach...
Each pound, each mile, each meal, I am re-learning how to live.