I am just finishing my 8th year in the classroom, plus the 5 years I stayed home, and I have been a teacher for 13 years total. That means I have been a teacher for as long as I was a student until I graduated high school, and that shit’s crazy.
You know what else is crazy? That I now have a new second and fourth grader! How the hell did this happen? Am I old enough for this? Don’t answer that.
I’ll tell you how this happened alright….because life doesn’t come with a pause button, and you know what else? I’m glad. Because every year that I have been a teacher, and every year that I have been a mom, I have gained so much as a person. I have so many memories, both good and bad, to learn from, and that is a blessing. The gift of living and not dying.
I survived through another school year of working every day, and evenings filled with clubs, practices, games, piano, Religion, school events, teacher meetings, etc. etc. I did this also during my first year post-op as a Bariatric surgery patient, running here and there to my many appointments, attending support group, heading the Facebook page, and even making yellow loom bracelets for my new Lap-Band family. Oh. And dieting. And learning what it feels like to have to get rid of dinner. And running, did I mention running??
But am I special? No. We all do these things in some capacity. We stretch ourselves past the limits of what we think reasonable. It’s how some of us survive. Because just like in the theme song for Orange Is the New Black….taking steps is easy, standing still is hard. Pausing in the middle of the sprinkler was always worse than just running through, where you got less wet. Or at least that’s what we all believed.
Transitions are rough, I’ve said that before and I’ll say it again. But transitions are necessary to get from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Saying goodbye to friends, events, teams, jobs, and anything else you take pleasure in sucks. But it’s part of life.
So I will not mourn my kids finishing another year of school. They grew, and learned, and thrived! And I can’t wait for what next year brings.
And I will not mourn the changes at my teaching job. Because what was, was awesome, but what will be might be that much better with time. No one will know until it happens.
And I certainly will not mourn the changes in me. Every day I try and make myself better. I have patience for people. Compassion. I’m a giver. I’m not too proud to take suggestions…and I work on them. I know sure as the sun will rise that I’m not perfect. And neither are you. No one is. To be perfect would be to just….stop….
And I will not stand still.