Super Inspired Writer

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Look SUPER. Feel SUPER. Choose SUPER. Be SUPER.

Monday, September 22

Because I'm HAPPY

I know this is gonna come as a shocker…but I’m not always happy. I have to sometimes CHOOSE to be happy. This past weekend, that’s just what I did…I woke up nice and late on Saturday after a hectic week (you can do that with older kids so hang in there folks) and I said, “This weekend I will be happy!”

And I was.

Here are some key things that contributed to that.

I did not eat shit. I ate real food, good food, and my belly thanked me in the morning. I went out twice to environments where I had no control of the menu and instead of saying fuck-it I’ll just go crazy, I chose to eat good food….mushroom crostini, salads, marinated flank steak, fruit, eggs…and low and behold I felt GOOD…..and HAPPY…

I also ran not once but twice this weekend. I didn’t push myself to exertion just to prove a point. I just ran, then walked, then ran again, then walked again. Then I mowed after that. I set my Pandora to the Maroon 5 station (whose concert I am HAPPY to report will be my birthday present in March) and just kept MOVING. Yesterday I went back to the gym for the first time since June. JUNE!! I had been running during the summer, but outside. Now that the weather is changing I need to get back into my routine of setting my times at the gym and going there. It needs to be a part of my life again no different than doing the laundry. So I went, and ran, and did two arm and two leg machines. I looked up the fall class schedule so I can get back to my favs like Zumba, and I want to start Yoga. At first I didn’t feel like getting up off the couch. I wanted to watch TV and drink coffee under the snuggie. But I had chosen to be HAPPY so I went….and I felt GOOD….and HAPPY…

 
As I spent the entire weekend with family and friends. I made myself look as presentable as possible in clothes I feel good in. I once again rocked the famous $3 dress from Kmart at a family baby shower and got so many compliments I lost count. I not only blew dried but also curled my hair with a curling iron. I wore boots for the first time this fall. I wore a new necklace from my Jewelry party a few months ago. I decided to be HAPPY and to accomplish that I needed to feel put together. I took the extra time for myself….and I felt GOOD….and HAPPY…

Just for fun I am attaching the blog posts where I found the dress and then wore it for the first time:
Found the Gown
First Appearance


Reminder: my life is no different then yours!! I am pulled in too many directions. I am a working mom with kids in a million activities. I take care of a family. And sometimes, just like you, I feel CRAPPY instead of HAPPY. But this weekend I chose HAPPY and it made all the difference. This week I choose HAPPY again.


Be HAPPY this week friends =)

Thursday, September 18

Moving the Wagon

We have all heard the metaphor about falling off the wagon, and you all know how much I LOVE my metaphors. So I thought about this and well…. here is the good news….I have decided that I am STILL IN the wagon, the wagon just aint moving. So no, I have not fallen off. I do not have to find a way to climb back in and rededicate myself. I just have to make the fucker MOVE again. Which is harder to do? I haven’t decided yet.

After 18 months and a lot of body changes, here I sit, stagnant. You would think that after such a significant weight loss I would be higher than a kite, but of course when reality sets in this couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am no longer basking in the glow of weight loss, this is just me now. So right on par I’m back to critiquing every square inch of myself. I no longer feel privileged to wear pants 5 sizes smaller, instead I am asking myself if things are supposed to fit the way they do, why some parts of my body refuse to conform with my unrealistic ideals, and if wearing leggings and yoga pants for so long has really ruined my expectations for good.

Because sometimes…..sometimes….you need to wear the pants. Real pants. With an old school zipper and button. My waist may be gone, but my thick ass and legs didn’t magically disappear over night with it like I had secretly wished upon a star…so instead of needing smaller pants….I need pants that I’m not even sure exist in nature. 

After much trial and error, I have been able to locate both jeans and black work pants. I don’t love them, but they’ll do. Like that one boyfriend that is just okay but you keep them around until something better comes along.

For fun I looked up last years post this exact same week and low and behold it was a legs post. You can’t make this shit up.


Enjoy:

Last year this week...

Thursday, September 11

TTT

1.     It is 13 years since the terror attacks of Sept. 11, 2014. Because of this I will always remember how long I have been a teacher because it was my first fall as a real live music teacher in a real live, brand-new school building. It was scary and surreal, and put everything in perspective for everyone. We have all been changed since then.

2.     This reminds me that in the old days you could graduate and have your job by your commencement. Seriously. Everyone announced it on an index card when they read your name at the graduation band and choir concert. I also announced my engagement because that’s what you did back then.

3.     This is my fifth year back to work and I am still working my butt off but still working part-time. Some things have gotten easier, but as the demands continue to pile up, so does the exhaustion. When the miracle happens and I get full-time again, I know I will be missing my “mornings free”…which aren’t free because that’s when I do all my undocumented other jobs I have.

4.     Which leads me to the realization that I really could use a sister wife. Someone to help me do the basics while I do the big jobs. Now, I understand I am not the first mom to do so much, and I’m just paying my dues like everyone else. But there literally is not enough hours in the day to work outside the home, take the kids to their stuff, manage a soccer team, and still be able to dump pine-sol into a toilet regularly. Not. Enough. Hours

5.     So don’t even get me started about getting back to working out. I have been cleared to run again, but sheesh, still haven’t hit the trail! What doesn’t help is that my kids are close to the age where they can be home alone, but not really at that age…so realistically they would be fine for a half hour but I aint risking it just yet in this world. Still no excuse because we still pay for the fitness center we haven’t visited since June.

6.     And today it is cold. Which is fine, I like Fall with it’s warm drinks and tall boots. But when it just comes at you literally overnight you feel a bit unprepared. Like you are half way to walking the kids to school when you realize just a dago-T under your hoodie aint gonna cut it anymore and have to run home for another layer.

7.     And luckily I was ahead of the punch because Costco had long sleeve t-shirts that are WOOL…yes, WOOL, as in from a lamb and they are so soft and comfy but just a little warmer. It might be mental but it’s working.

8.     Both my nails and hair are outgrown and look like shit but I’m in that in-between time where I still have to wait at least another week before I touch up because I have a baby shower and wedding to attend. Luckily I figured out I can make my no-chip last at minimum four weeks if I get French because you don’t see the clear growing out. Win. Now if only I could do that with my grey hair!

9.     And yes I have TONS and I’m in my 30’s. Genetics sucks like that sometimes. But the good news is that since I went black and never went back I only get the grey outgrowth and not the all over outgrowth like when I tried to be a red head like Nicole Kidman. Now that was high maintenance.


10. And it’s already Thursday, which means when the bell rings at 3:30 it’s basically Friday already. TGIF!

Wednesday, September 3

Welcome Back

So after a long summer of proving to myself that I can maintain my weight on my own….I have decided to make friends again with MyFitnessPal App.  I stopped tracking in June….survived Disney with all their anti-christ Mickey shaped snack food and lived to tell about it, had some other diet and exercise road blocks while having to lay low, and now it’s September and the scale hasn’t budged. Which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy that I cracked the code to just being “me”. But I am also realizing I’m just not…quite…there.

I feel great. I am told I look great. Hell, I just bought my FIRST EVER tight ass body con dress for an upcoming wedding. But I am STILL obese and that bugs the shit out of me like no tomorrow. I am okay with being BMI chart diagnosed overweight. Overweight means curvy, and yes can even mean healthy. My doctor’s team has assured me that even professional athletes can struggle to get a “normal BMI” since the charts don’t account for anything but height and weight. That being “overweight BMI” might be what’s healthy for me if I’m eating right and exercising. And especially for a lap-band patient, the overweight range is statistically unattainable for most.

But it IS attainable for me. And I am less than 10 lbs away.

So here is my plan:

Put myself back behind the steering wheel. Remember that the more I eat right and exercise the more EVERYTHING around me goes more smoothly. Remember that putting myself first (eeek!) is really in a crazy way putting everyone around me first. I need to get back to tracking what I am eating. I need to get back to snacking in moderation and not letting a bag of chips be my dinner. I need to get off my ass and start walking my 5K every night again even if I can’t run just quite yet. To start blogging twice a week again, because it keeps me motivated and motivates others, and reminds me why the fuck I’m here in the first place.

I AM NOT THERE. I AM HERE.

Why is it so easy to see the finish line and stop to tie your shoe only to forget you haven’t finished the race yet?

I know, super philosophical and metaphorical of me.


I’m back.

Tuesday, September 2

Learning Curve

Yikes.

It’s September.

And I’m learning.

As always I have signed up to do WAY too much and it’s already catching up with me. Because of this, my day job work is already starting that dreaded needed to be done yesterday pile (first time in 5 years I was told my Sub folder was over due….hand slapped). I am at meetings trying to plan a PTA Valentine’s Dance (yes, it’s in 5 ½ months) while simultaneously answering and forwarding a ton of Soccer e-mails. I am forgetting about (hand slapped) and rescheduling dog hair cuts. I am learning (or maybe I already knew) that social media is both a blessing and a curse and that you cannot and should not trust anyone (hand slapped).

I’m not talking about downloading the FB Messanger App, that shit’s fine people. It will be okay, I promise.

I’ve been on a few walks but I’m not exercising right now, and not necessarily because I don’t want to. I do want to, it’s a huge stress relief I don’t have and that sucks. So what do I do instead? Keep trying to eat fricking Kettle Chips that I KNOW DAMN WELL won’t go down. But, c’mon I’m sure this time I’ll be fine, right?? Nope, didn’t think so.

How about retail therapy??  That is super gratifying, short-term until you remember you have to pay for it. But you don’t really think I’m going to show up to a wedding full of my Husband’s colleagues in an old frock from before things changed…do you?

I am spread thin like Nutella. I can’t say no. Need some blood? Here, let me slit my wrist “Flowers in the Attic” style and give you some. Because that’s what I do best.


But I’m learning.