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Tuesday, December 2

I'm. Stuck.

As the old saying goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. Which is why I haven’t written in two weeks.

Yeah, that “game plan” I drafted? Down the shitter.

I’m a mess over here.

A ten-pound heavier mess.

WTF!!

I can’t get myself to the gym, or to even do squats in my living room, I just want to hide under my snuggie with my eyes closed and pretend no one can see me.  And eat Cheez-its. Is that too much to ask?

Or turn goth. I do own a lot of black clothing.

Next week I visit my surgeon, which I scheduled three weeks earlier because I decided I needed help sooner than later. I am afraid he is going to be super dissapointed.  Give me those “you fucked up” eyes.

I am afraid.

I’m going to ask Santa for some personal training sessions after the New Year. Santa will provide, I know this much.

Will it help? Will I go? Will I get where I want to be?

I lost the bulk of my weight so fast but this past year I lost and gained the same 10 lbs putting me in the exact same place as I was last December.


What will 2015 bring?

2 comments:

  1. SIGH. I totally hear this only I'm 50 lbs up! Hang in there...motivation is tough. Don't worry about your surgeon. No one can be more disappointed than you are right now.

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  2. Please don't be hard on yourself. The majority of us bandsters lose the weight we are going to lose in the first year. (Really. I've done a lot of research on this.) For the rest of the weight, it takes much more dedicated "dieting" than it took during the first 12 months. It is doable, however, just not as easy. I think a lot of us who were banded in 2013 are in the same boat.

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