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Thursday, August 6

I'm baaaaaack 1/2


PART 1 OF 2...

It’s been four and a half months since I last wrote and published a blog and let me tell you so much has happened, and didn’t happen, that I hope I can do my story justice. But I can say that many of my friends have been asking why I haven’t written in a while and when I was going to write again and well, I thought, better late than never. Here geos nothing.

Let me backtrack to March when I started to hard-core look for a new job. I really can’t get into the meat and potatoes of what went down at my last job when I was “honorably released” or some shit, especially since I was slapped on the hand most briskly for posting something on Facebook that was absolutely true but sounded too rant-like and accusatory toward the big wigs. Long story short I no longer was going to have a position where I was, so I had to really step up to the online application plate if I was going to work as a teacher this year. I just refused to accept that I wasn’t.

There was a whopping 5 jobs within 45 minutes of my house that I was qualified for. The one I didn’t get in my last district (see above disclaimer), three that people I was friends with said they had an “in” for (not even a damn interview), and one that was just a random point and click. I also applied to some parochial schools making sure to say I was interested because I wanted to explore my faith in education because I knew that’s what they wanted to hear. That was BS, I know exactly where my faith is no exploration needed, but it didn’t matter because God was already on it and I ended up getting the wild-card job where no one knew me at all, I was a random pick of the online applicants. I’m proof it happens teachers so don’t give up!

This whole time I was in a major depression because that’s how I roll. I stopped going to the gym (phewy to the 500 mile challenge, better luck next year) and I actually lost 5 lbs without trying because I didn’t feel like chewing and swallowing anything. I am someone that works hard and plays by the rules and therefor expects the outcomes to also be by the book. I was a victim of the old “when you assume you make an ass out of you and me” and for the first time in a long time I just didn’t want one more person to tell me that I was destined for bigger and better. That God had a plan. I already knew God had a plan but if I heard it one more time I wanted to punch someone in the throat.

I did what a good Italian Catholic girl does and I prayed and prayed to whoever would listen.

I ended up finding bigger and better and am starting next week. Sadly, bigger and better didn’t come with a laptop pro bono so I picked one up today and voila here I am typing my first blog in months on a new laptop with a new job.

Oh, I also got a new car because the one I had been using for the past five years just had fucking ghosts of Christmas past in it. My old fat days, my toting around screaming toddlers escaping their carseats days, my old job driving to four schools a day hoping my dedication would pay off days. In so many ways I have not only turned the page to a new chapter but literally slammed that book closed and put it on the shelf. I couldn’t look at that old Nissan anymore without throwing up in my mouth. Now I have a little red zippy car red as a goddamned cherry. It feels like me. The me now.

And paying my due diligence to what started as a weight loss surgery blog, I’m doing okay. In a perfect world I will still lose my last 5 lbs to no longer be “obese” but really I don’t give a shit anymore about BMI charts or what size the tag says or any of that bull. I’m happy and I’m okay and I feel good in my skin for the first time in a decade. Should I still be eating well and working out, of course. But if this is me at 37 and this is still me in 15 years I’m okay with that. I have much more important things to worry about.

Because bigger and better is out there. And God has a plan.

 

1 comment:

  1. Plan or no plan, good for you for not giving up on what you wanted! I'm glad it all worked out and I hope you enjoy your new job.

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