Super Inspired Writer

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Tuesday, May 2

Rosy Cheeks

When I was in high school….and I don’t mean to brag,  I had the best complexion ever. No amount of chlorine from working at the pool, or caked on face make-up from theater even led to a minor blemish. I never got the dreaded puberty pimples, and I tanned like nobody’s business. My hair also was super stick straight and jet black…though in those days I had bangs and got a bleach highlight that was all the rage in the 90’s.  I could wash at night and go to bed once it was towel dried and wake up the next morning with smooth and silky straight hair. So, for the first half of my life…. I never had to worry about bed head, or white heads, and it was glorious.
After two pregnancies in my twenties, something crazy happened. I got acne and curly hair. I am not shitting you, this is the absolute truth.
After ten years of just hoping it would “go away on its own” and tons of money on facials, skin care products, face masks, hair masks, hair oil, etc. etc. I finally sucked it up and went to the Dermatologist. We met Dr. Derm when my son got ringworm from wearing a helmet during a jousting game at the summer fair. While we were there, I said enough is enough, I am making my appointment TODAY to get my face back to normal. My husband, who had seen this doc before laughed and said, “This will be good.” What the hell was he talking about?
And then Dr. Derm walked in. And right on cue….he was HOT.
Which led to a discussion later about why dermatologists and plastic surgeons have to be so good looking. There you are looking crappy as can be, and a hot ass doctor right out of the Grey’s Anatomy script comes walking in. Super unfair. Dear husband says it’s because no one would trust a ratchety looking doctor for a cosmetic fix. I guess he has a point. Still embarrassing asking a handsome man to get rid of my middle aged acne!
But I went, and at my own appointment, Dr. Derm took one look at my rosy red cheeks and said it was hormone acne. Great, just great, 39-years-old and NOW my face decides to act like a teen who ate too much chocolate.  He put me on a low dose medication (with a strict reminder that it could cause birth defects if I get pregnant….whew, no concerns there) and also a cream that was like 800 dollars until the insurance finally took the claim.
If it’s not one thing it’s another. WTF
Tonight was my follow up appointment and I see a definite improvement in the bumps hidden under my Cover Girl. But these things take time and I just have to wait it out. In the meantime…my body is just so out of whack in so many ways it’s exhausting. In addition to the acne, exhaustion, and “other female issues” …WebMD says I’m starting menopause.  Outstanding, said no 39-year old ever.
Not that I have any plans to use my cycle to its intended use….but it’s the principal of the matter. How many more strikes against getting to my goal weight can I handle? Being a dried up old whoremonal hag does NOT fit in my plans right now!!
But I’m not the first or last woman to go through any of this. I’m not the only one with the life and symptoms of a completely overwhelming life. I’m just writing about it.

So thanks for listening...I feel better already.